Yes, I am a Tornado Chaser

Yes, I am a Tornado Chaser

Space 4 Space is upon us. To those of you planning on attending the event this Saturday, oh are you ever in for a treat. A space-suit fashion show, the black hole photo booth, tons of great food, live music, and possibly a laser gun or two. Did I mention live music?

In honor of our space-themed bash, The Tornado now presents a catch-all checklist for anyone wishing to start their own spaced-out band.

  • Shinny pants – From Billy Corgan to the Haz-Mat guys in 1950s Army film strips, no one gets into space-rock Valhalla without at least one pair of skin-tight shinny silver pants. Extra points for the full on shinny suit (or one of those orange road crew jump suits the community service kids wear.)

  • Delay, phaser, and flanger pedals – They can make your guitar sound like rockets, R2D2, a fish tank, stomach cramping, and about a dozen other things on the weirdo guitar meter. Plus, when some asshole yells “Turn up de flange!” you will have an answer on deck that will blow his mind.

  • A copy of Downward is Heavenward by Hum – This is it…the alpha and omega of space-rock. 10,000 guitars and equally as many effects pedals. Play it every night at midnight with the volume at about 7.

  • Star Trek: the Motion Picture and Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan – Whenever someone comes over to your house, you should be about half-way through one of these, and when they say “Oh, am I interrupting?” you can be all non-chalant like “It’s cool…I’ve seen these like a zillion times” even if you have never finished them.

  • A copy of Issac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics – Waive this in that chubby coffee clerk’s face next time he gets all huffy over whether or not Han shot first. You don’t have to listen to him…you are three weeks of electronics training away from building the best robot backing band since Chuck E. Cheese’s.

Some odds and ends that might come in handy: space food sticks (like Charleston Chews or Slim Jims), neon-colored Pumas, a hyperbaric chamber, and a mechanical hand.